Seeing in Color
by PeaceLoveParvati
Summary: In a world where color is only visible when touching the person you love, the Avengers struggle with finding and keeping hold of their true loves.
1. Chapter 1

Bruce had never seen color before. His parents (well, his mother) had told him the legends, and he'd heard couples talking about it, but he was sure he'd never see them for himself. When you're born, no color is visible. It's all black and white until you're touching someone you've fallen in love with. From then on, color can be seen at the touch of a hand.

So when holding Betty's hand gave him an entirely new outlook on life, he never wanted to let it go. Except... she couldn't see it. He knew, because when he started seeing them and babbling about it, she just watched him with a blank face and let go of his hand. If she'd seen them, she wouldn't have let go.

Her things were gone the very next day. She hadn't bothered to say goodbye. Bruce would be lying if he said he didn't feel her loss, but in the months that followed he found himself missing the colors more than her.

A few years later, Steve assured him that finding love was not always so rare. "I had mine. He lit up my whole world, literally. I'll never have that again, I know. Some days it hurts, but I'll always have my memories," he told Bruce.

Bruce loved listening to the old stories. Even Tony had a couple from his time with Pepper, before she broke his heart.

"I don't see them anymore when we touch in passing. I don't know if she does or not. Honestly, it doesn't bother me. It means I'm not missing her," he'd said.

And then it happened. One day, after a particularly nasty battle with mutant robots, Tony grabbed his arm to keep him upright and the colors flared to life. He didn't know if he made any kind of reaction when it happened because he only saw them for a few seconds before passing out from exertion.

He woke up in Medical and thought it was a dream. There was no way Tony had given him the colors; he liked the billionaire, sure, but love? No, he couldn't. He'd thought he was alone until the colors were suddenly back and brighter than ever. Tony had seen he was awake and took his hand.

He decided to have no outward reaction. If he ignored it, they would eventually go away. Nothing was worth the pain of knowing Tony couldn't see them too. He didn't ever want to suffer like that again.

His recovery was fast, thanks to the Other Guy. He was back in the lab with Tony in no time. And if they somehow managed to touch more often now, Bruce couldn't be blamed. Tony initiated it just as much. They were both touch-starved from their awful childhoods (and for Bruce, his life after the accident).

When Natasha cornered him one day, he knew it was time for him to go. If she'd realized what was happening, it was only a matter of time before everyone else figured it out. He didn't think he could live through hearing Tony reject him like Betty had.

"You love him. Your face brightens every time you accidentally touch. Clint and I think it's cute. You should tell him, Bruce," she said. He shook his head immediately.

"No. I saw them with Betty, too. She didn't. I'm not going to go there again. It hurts too much," he protested.

"We think Stark sees them too," she'd argued. But Bruce wasn't listening anymore.

He left in the middle of the night, taking only one bag and his phone. The flight took him out to Malaysia, where he intended to start up with helping the sick again. He didn't answer his phone when Tony called, even though it was nearly every day.

Tony couldn't figure out when his feelings had started, but Bruce had worked his way right into his heart. The colors started for him in the lab. He'd told the stories about Pepper as a hint, but it hadn't worked the way he wanted. Bruce seemed to be completely oblivious to his feelings.

When Bruce had collapsed in the field, Tony had panicked. Grabbing him probably wasn't the best idea, but by the noise he'd made... Tony was almost sure he'd seen the colors too. Natasha cornered him the same day she got Bruce.

"We've seen how you look at him, Tony. You love him. He loves you too. You should talk to him!" she'd said.

"You really think so?" he'd asked, amazed. The assassin was right, as usual.

"Yes. Clint and I have both noticed it," she'd replied, giving a rare smile.

So Tony decided to go for it. The very next morning, he made a trip to Bruce's floor, a place he'd never been. Something wasn't right though; there was almost nothing there, including Bruce. After some investigation, Jarvis informed him that Bruce had left around midnight, carrying a bag of belongings.

Tony was broken. He could only imagine that Bruce had seen what Natasha had. He must not have felt the same, like they'd thought. He'd left to avoid hurting anyone, only it hadn't worked. He tried calling, but he never got an answer. He turned back to alcohol.

Three months into his seclusion, Bruce got a call from Natasha. So far, only Tony had attempted to contact him and he hadn't answered a single call. He'd been tempted, but he knew better than to give into temptation at this point. Bruce only answered now because Natasha only called for emergencies.

"Tony is in the hospital. It's not looking good," she said immediately. Bruce froze, panicking internally.

"What? Wait... what?" he asked. He could hear her frustrated sigh.

"He was drinking and thought it would be a good idea to go for a drive. Now he's in the hospital, because he's an idiot. The doctors are calling it a coma and saying he won't be waking up," she explained.

Everything hurt. He couldn't believe that Tony was just... gone?

"Why are you telling me?" he asked quietly.

"You know why. Well, that and because you're his emergency contact. I don't know why he never changed that," Nat replied. "Will you come back now? We need you."

"Yes... of course. I'll be on a plane tonight," he replied without thinking. Of course he would. Tony needed him.

The hospital was cold. When Bruce first got there, he didn't even notice. Now though, two days later, he was freezing. The others were in and out, but Bruce hadn't left yet. Tony actually looked peaceful and that was just nice to see. It was not nice that he'd probably never see Tony's eyes open again.

He hadn't touched Tony at all, but he'd talked to him quietly when the nurse told him he'd probably hear it. He told Tony everything, knowing he'd never get to say it again. Tony would be it for him. He refused to fall again. It just hurt too much.

Tony woke up slowly, immediately wishing he hadn't when he remembered what happened. His friends- especially Steve- were going to kill him since the crash hadn't.

At first glance, the room was empty. But then he heard the breathing and noticed Bruce sleeping in the chair beside his bed. Without even thinking, he reached out and grabbed his hand, making the colors flare up. He almost didn't notice Bruce waking up, until the colors were gone and Bruce was staring at him.

"Tony? How...?" he sounded completely shocked, and Tony used that shock to grab his hand again and hold it surprisingly tight.

"Bruce, oh god, you're really here," he gasped, frowning at his raspy voice.

"I... yeah. You're not supposed to be awake. They told us you'd never wake up," he babbled. He didn't let go of Tony's hand, not even noticing the colors in his shock.

"Well, I did," Tony said. "Are you just going to leave again?" He was trying not to sound bitter, but it was hard. He didn't want to lose Bruce again, after all of this.

Bruce shook his head immediately. He'd never leave again, unless Tony specifically told him to. Clearly leaving the billionaire alone was a bad idea.

"Good, because I have to tell you something," Tony said, smiling. "You know how I saw color with Pepper? That stopped the day I met you. For a while I just didn't see them at all, until you started working in the lab with me. And now, every time we touch they're brighter than ever. You left before I could tell you that I love you."

Bruce didn't even question it. He just leaned forward and kissed Tony with everything he had.


	2. Chapter 2

The museum was cold and unforgiving after closing. Bucky wasn't even sure why he was there, to be honest. It's not like he hadn't seen the exhibit on his past more than a hundred times. It was just that every time he went to see it, he found a new memory he'd forgotten. A new piece of his life with Steve was revealed, and he needed them all to be whole again. He wanted to be whole again.

Sitting on the bench in front of the old uniforms, he just let himself remember. The first time he saw Steve, how they became friends, when they fell in love, being captured and thinking only about how he'd never see Steve again... it was all painful but he felt in needed to be remembered. It was something they could never give back. Bucky could never deserve Steve again; he'd done too many bad things.

He was studying Steve's old suit (which had been returned to the museum after their confrontation), he remembered the first time he ever saw color.

_Steve held out his hand to help Bucky up off of the floor after the class ended. Phys Ed had been brutal that day, and they were both completely exhausted. Watching Steve argue with the teacher when he'd incorrectly assumed that Bucky had started the latest string of fights had given him new admiration for his best friend (and detention for both of them, but what was new?). The second their hands touched, the world seemed to explode._

"_What's wrong, Buck? You okay?" Steve asked, concerned. He didn't see anything different than normal, clearly, but... Bucky could see a new rainbow of colors that he'd never experienced before._

"_I'm fine. Just tired, I guess. Head rush," he said, shrugging it off and taking his hand back, relieved when the colors were gone and things were normal again._

"_Okay... if you say so," Steve shrugged. They walked out of the classroom together silently, Bucky thinking and Steve giving him some distance._

Bucky smiled, thinking about how long it'd taken him to admit that he could see colors. Almost six months passed where he'd find the strangest reason to have physical contact with Steve, and even after he admitted to seeing color he wouldn't tell him who the lucky "lady" was. Back then it was illegal to be homosexual, and he wouldn't bring Steve down with him. Not when he fought so hard to protect him from everything. It wasn't too much of a stretch to protect him from this unwanted emotion.

His army uniform caught his eye and he frowned. Joining had been the hardest thing he'd ever done. He'd known that in enlisting he would be leaving Steve probably for good.

"_Name?" the officer asked, boredom clear in his tone._

"_James Barnes," Bucky replied, keeping his own voice steady. He was ready for this. He'd been trying to talk himself out of it for weeks, and it was time to enlist before he lost his nerve completely. _

"_Age?" the officer asked, glancing up._

"_Twenty," he said. The officer nodded and finished the paperwork, stamping it with the acceptance._

"_Welcome to the army, kid," he said, looking up long enough to give a completely unreassuring smile. Bucky nodded and took his slip, leaving the office to find Steve. _

_Steve was exactly where he expected him to be; down by the river sketching. Bucky stood back just watching him for several minutes, trying to work up the courage to tell his best friend he'd be leaving. Finally he walked over and sat down right beside him._

"_How long have you been out here without anyone around? You've gotta be freezing, Steve, it's cold out," he said, mostly teasing. _

"_Just a couple hours. I'm not cold, and I'm almost finished. How did you know I'd be out here?" Steve responded after a few seconds, not even looking up from his sketchbook._

"_Lucky guess. I know you better than anyone," he replied, looking out over the water, into the trees beyond. "You know how we always talked about enlisting when we got the chance?"_

"_Yeah. Changed our minds though, remember? I'm too "sickly", and you didn't want to leave me behind," Steve said, finally looking over at him. He hesitated._

"_Well, I went and enlisted today," he said quietly. Steve stared at him, eyes wide. Bucky could see the hurt in them, and he had to look down. "I want to help, Steve. They need all the men they can get. And you'll be safe over here."_

"_But you won't be safe over there. You know I'm going to enlist now too. We're supposed to look out for each other, Buck!" Steve protested, getting angry. _

"_And this is me looking out for you. I promise I'll come back, but this is something I need to do. You're not going to lose me; I'm with you to the end of the line, remember? This is just a small swerve in the road. I'll be back before you know it," he promised, looking up to meet Steve's eyes. _

He remembered his training and how harsh it had been. All necessary, of course. And getting captured. He was never worried for himself. The whole time they were torturing and experimenting, he could only think of that promise, and how he was breaking it every day. He was never going to make it back to Steve.

And then Steve had shown up and saved his life! Bucky rubbed his temples, a headache building up. Remembering always hurt after a bit. He could see the sun shining through the window and glanced at the clock in shock. Opening time. He wouldn't be caught, but he wouldn't be alone anymore. His hoodie hid most of the metal arm, but not even gloves hid the fact that one of his hands was made of metal. Time to move then. Children tended to draw attention to him when he stayed in public.

He walked, because running just drew more attention, out the front door of the museum. Only one child noticed the sun glinting off of his hand and stared at him, which was an accomplishment. He was still stuck in memories, remembering seeing Steve for the first time since joining the army.

_The door swung open and he was mentally preparing himself for another round of torture when Steve stepped into the room and saw him. Both of them froze, eyes widening. Bucky was still drugged, but it was wearing off. He was pretty sure he was hallucinating. Wouldn't be the first time._

"_Bucky, you're... you're alive," Steve said, so quiet he almost didn't catch it. "I thought you were gone."_

"_I'm here. Steve, why the hell are you here?" he asked, pretending his best friend was real. Steve was immediately by his side, releasing his hands. "Didn't you used to be shorter?" Steve had grown, that was for sure. He was now taller than Bucky, and there was so much muscle... and color. Steve was touching him, really touching him. He was really there. That woke Bucky up instantly._

"_I came for you. Til the end of the line, remember? This is NOT the end of the line," Steve said, giving a small smile. "I'll explain everything when we're safer."_

_At this point, Bucky was certain they were going to die. He'd missed Steve so much, and he was still drugged... if Steve questioned it later, if they survived, he'd blame the drugs. He pulled Steve to him and kissed him. It was fast, because they didn't have time for anything deep and meaningful, but it held so many sparks that Bucky would never regret doing it. At least he'd gotten one kiss._

_Steve did not question the kiss, just gave Bucky another blinding smile and led him out to a hallway, trying to escape the Hydra base. _

Later, after they'd had time to breath, they'd talked it through. Steve had seen colors too, every time he touched Bucky, long before Bucky ever had. That's why there'd been no reaction in the gym; colors were not new to Steve at that point. They spent many days and nights together after that, until the incident that resulted in Bucky's almost-death.

After the SHIELD incident, Bucky had not spoken to Steve again. It took several weeks for him to regain his memories, and he was still remembering little things every day, but... he couldn't bring himself to confront Steve. He'd done so many horrible things, killed so many people... he just couldn't. But that didn't stop him from watching.

That was where he was headed, actually. He left the museum and kept to the shadows, heading towards Stark Tower to find his old lover. Just because he wouldn't speak to him didn't mean he couldn't protect him. He was always there, at all of the Avenger's battles, watching just in case. To the end of the line, just like he'd promised all those years ago.

He arrived at the tower in time to see all of the Avengers leaving, off to fight some new battle. Bucky grabbed his sniper rifle from where he'd hidden it and followed, keeping his distance. He'd never been seen by any of them, and he intended to keep it that way. (If he'd been spotted, they'd kept their mouthes shut, because there was no way Steve wouldn't have confronted him if he'd known.)

Central Park was being attacked by some kind of strange robots. From his vantage point, Bucky could see the idiot controlling the bots on the roof of a building across the park. Hawkeye had seen him too, and Ironman was currently on his way to take him out. When Bucky turned his attention back to Steve, he noticed that his fighting pattern was off. He was slower than usual, but there was no obvious reason why. He wasn't worried until he noticed Natasha catching his eye. That's when he knew he was needed.

He ditched the sniper rifle and immediately headed down to the fight. He was just in time to watch one of the bots catch Steve in the side with a blade. A second one was behind him, ready to stab him through the back. Bucky didn't even think, he just dove between them, taking the blow that was meant for his love. He didn't feel any pain, which he knew was strange. It was a blade to his chest. He was not going to survive it. He could, however, take as many of these bots down with him as possible. His improved body could last for a few more minutes. In that time, he worked with the Avengers to bring down all of the threats. Ironman managed to shut down the person controlling them just as Bucky collapsed.

"Bucky!" Steve cried out, dropping to his knees beside him. The others surrounded them, staying back a bit to give them room.

"That was foolish," Thor said quietly, looking upset. The others seemed to agree with him, especially Steve, who seemed to be fighting tears.

Bucky had just enough strength to reach up with his good hand to wipe the tears away. "To the end of the line, remember? This is just the end of mine," he said quietly.

"No, no it isn't, Buck. I still need you," Steve said, moving Bucky's head to rest on his lap.

"You don't need me anymore. You have all of them, your new family. You'll go on, the world still needs Steve Rogers," he whispered.

"The world needs you too. You can pull through this, we've got medical help on the way. Don't give up on me. Don't you leave me alone again!" Steve begged. Bucky shook his head. The colors that had flared up when Steve touched him were fading again. Not because Bucky didn't love him anymore, but because he was dying.

"I love you, Steve. I always did, even when I couldn't remember," he said, letting his eyes close. He could just barely hear Steve crying, and the whispered reply.

"I love you too, Bucky. To the very end."


End file.
